What Do You See In The Mirror Part 1

What do you see when you look in the mirror? 

I have spent a lot of the last few years of my life looking into the mirror.  Almost everyday of college I found myself standing in front of one for hours and hours.  I would put myself in a room with only me and the mirror for very long spaces of time.  Some days it was an enlightening and exhilarating experience leaving me with a great sense of fulfillment and other days it was disheartening and discouraging in a way only tears can adequately explain.
One day I would see a beautiful person accomplishing her goals and headed in the right direction.  Nothing could stop me.  Others I saw a sad and defeated person who just couldn't measure up and who never would.  I saw a lack of progress and a waste of time.  Sometimes I would even turn out the light so it was impossible to see in the mirror and or I would turn my back so I could not see my reflection.  I learned to both love and hate what I saw in that mirror and even the mirror and the room itself.  Two emotions fighting within me, never knowing which one would come to surface the next day.

Now don't get all worried, I wasn't just going into a room to stare at myself, this is an overview of four years of my life as a music performance major on the violin.  Every day I was required to practice for four plus hours. This required a place where you could be alone and focus, or a practice room which was the size of a closet with only a stand and a mirror inside.  It was vitally important that you played in front of the mirror so you could see if you hands and arms were working in the correct way to produce the right sound.  If something sounded weird or a certain arm movement or finger pattern was not working, you could look carefully at yourself in the mirror and find the problem.  Sometimes you would lean off balance and it would distort the sound or your wrist would turn out in the wrong way or a finger wasn't curved enough.  It was a constant time of critiquing to become the best you could be and ultimately play the perfect performance.

On the days I really focused and practiced well, I would look in the mirror and see the professional concert violinist within me.  I knew my potential and I was working towards it.  Nothing could take away the joy of that hard, intensive practice session that left me feeling this way.  On the days I allowed myself to get distracted or not work as hard or practice lazily, I left downtrodden.  I could see nothing worth value in that mirror.  I just wanted to get away from it.  It all depended on what kind of focus I had had that day.

Now as a missionary I find myself looking into another kind of mirror.  On my desk I have a picture of Christ and the way it is sitting I can look into it and see my reflection in the glass.  With the picture there behind the glass I can literally see the image of Christ within my own.

In Alma chapter 5, Alma asks a piercing question.  He says "Can ye look up, having the image of God engraven upon your countenance?"  Can you see Christ within you when you look in the mirror?  How can you even tell?

Well, when I acted like a professional violinist and practiced like a professional violinist with all the tools and knowledge I had to help me become so, is when I could see that potential within me.  I could literally see it in my reflection in the mirror.  Jesus Christ has told us of our potential by telling us who we are and what we need to do. 

In Romans 8:16 it says, 

"The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God."

 Since we are the children of God, Ephesians 5:1 says,

 "Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children."  

God just asks us to follow him and his beloved Son, Jesus Christ, as a child would follow a parent, because we literally are following our Heavenly Father and our elder brother.

So how do we do that?

Nephi tells us "And he(Christ) said unto the children of men: Follow thou me. Wherefore, my beloved brethern, can we follow Jesus save we shall be willing to keep the commandments of the Father?" -2 Nephi 31:10

When you want to be a professional violinist, you get the books and study with the teachers that will show you how to become so, and then you practice every day.  So if I want to follow Christ and become like him, and therefore see his image within my countenance, I need to do the same.  Get the books, find the teachers, go to where they are and then practice!

The scriptures are the books and the prophets, apostles, leaders, parents, friends and teachers, and missionaries can be the teacher.  The more you study about and then try new techniques on the violin, the better you become.  The more you study and listen and learn and go to church and then try, the more you will become like Christ. 

So I ask you, "Can  you look up, having the image of God engraven upon your countenance?"
Yes...But it is going to be a process...

To be continued  :)

Mysterious Ways and Marvelous Results

The Lord works in mysterious ways sometimes.

Just when you feel things are going great in your life, you have it down, you know what you are doing, and you are so happy about where you are, the Lord decides to change it up.  Something big throws everything off and you feel like you are starting all over.  You wonder why me, why now, why this?  It does not make sense to you at all.  It makes you reexamine yourself and have to go out of your comfort zone.  You start looking at things in different ways and changing yourself.  IT IS TIME TO LEARN AND GROW, and ultimately become what we are meant to be someday.

Elder D. Todd Christofferson told this story- “ President Hugh B. Brown, formerly a member of the Twelve and a counselor in the First Presidency, provided a personal experience. He told of purchasing a rundown farm in Canada many years ago. As he went about cleaning up and repairing his property, he came across a currant bush that had grown over six feet (1.8 m) high and was yielding no berries, so he pruned it back drastically, leaving only small stumps. Then he saw a drop like a tear on the top of each of these little stumps, as if the currant bush were crying, and thought he heard it say:

'How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. … And now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me. … How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.'

President Brown replied, 'Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and someday, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, "Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down."’

Years later, President Brown was a field officer in the Canadian Army serving in England. When a superior officer became a battle casualty, President Brown was in line to be promoted to general, and he was summoned to London. But even though he was fully qualified for the promotion, it was denied him because he was a Mormon. The commanding general said in essence, “You deserve the appointment, but I cannot give it to you.” What President Brown had spent 10 years hoping, praying, and preparing for slipped through his fingers in that moment because of blatant discrimination. Continuing his story, President Brown remembered:

'I got on the train and started back … with a broken heart, with bitterness in my soul. … When I got to my tent, … I threw my cap on the cot. I clenched my fists, and I shook them at heaven. I said, "How could you do this to me, God? I have done everything I could do to measure up. There is nothing that I could have done—that I should have done—that I haven’t done. How could you do this to me?" I was as bitter as gall.
And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was my own voice, and the voice said, "I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to do."  The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees by the cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness...'

'… And now, almost 50 years later, I look up to [God] and say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.’

When we feel we are being cut down or changes in our lives make us wonder why we could not continue to be comfortable and grow where we were, we should remember that God sees the whole plan and is helping us to become the best we can be.  He is the gardener and I’m grateful he takes the time to prune me into the best person that I can be."   -"As Many as I Love, I Rebuke and Chasten"

In Revelation 3:19 it says

19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.

Sometimes we are like little children who are certain that we know what we are doing and that we are making tremendous growth.  A loving parent will always teach their child what they need to become better, whether the child likes it or not. :)

In Hebrews 12:9-10 it says

 9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

 10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.

See that last line! Heavenly Father only chastens us so that we can partake of his holiness.  He cuts us down so that we will grow into the best thing possible.  It will always be for our own good. 

So next time you go to think "why me, I was doing so good?", instead think about all the possibilities of what you are going to be because the Lord saw fit to direct you into a bigger and better and more exciting path. 

Would you rather follow the plan of God who can see what is coming, or your plan where you can only see what's already happened?  I think I'll put my trust in the one who knows the future, he usually gives me much better things than I tried to plan for myself. 

The NON Sticky Notes: A tale about usefulness

There we found ourselves in the middle of the nerd wonderland.  I do not know what it is about office supply stores and all the paper and pens and stickers and gadgets galore that gets me so excited!  I just love wandering around the store and gathering object after object to indulge my need of having pens and paper and everything in between to decorate them in every shade of the rainbow!  In fact these stores along with bookstores had to be labeled by my family as off limits for me when I am alone because I tend to spend my whole paycheck in one glorious adventure through the isles that just adds to the stacks I already have sitting there waiting to be used at home.  But you never know when you are going to need a letter opener with a crown on top, and a flash drive shaped like a turtle, or a massive pad of sticky notes and different colored pens to match my clothes or moods...

See what I mean, just so exciting...

Well in my latest adventure to the store, my missionary companion Sister Honomichl and I found a real treasure in the clearance isle.  I'm telling you how could anyone pass up 600 DIFFERENT COLORED STICKY NOTES IN A SWIRLED SHAPED PAD!  It was so awesome we each had to buy one.  When we got to the register with those and all our other goodies the clerk said "wow I have never actually seen anyone buy one of these before," referring to our sticky note towers.  We were so confused why he had never seen that before.  Don't people understand how amazing it is to get 600 sticky notes for two dollars!!!  And they are 7 different colors!  We decided he was just not very observant, because that would be crazy. 

Well we got home and soon discovered why the clerk thought our purchase was not the best idea.  The notes were not sticky.  It is just a clever looking stack of paper.  I thought "wow, now what am I going to do with 600 little pieces of paper that wont stick to anything.  I was tricked into buying these and they are useless.  The clerk must have meant that by what he said." Oh were we sad.

Do we ever feel that way about ourselves?  Oh I'm not pretty enough, not good enough, not smart enough.  I'm not married or I'm a single parent or just a housewife whose only job is to watch kids.  I'm not in this calling or that calling.  I don't have good job, I don't make a lot of money.  I cant help like my neighbor can, I cant play sports like my friends, I don't know how to cook, my house is never as clean as others.  My past is not spotless and my future is uncertain.  I'm not what normal people should be.  I'm not what I think a perfect member of the church should be.  Or in context of the story, you are not sticky, and why would anyone want notes that do not stick or people like you who apparently just are not good enough for anything?

Well let me tell you why you don't have to be sticky to be useful and important.

After the initial time of moaning and woe over waisted money, we decided to put those non sticky notes to use and discovered something great from that little pad of brightly colored paper.

Those notes became lists and lists covering everything from grocery items, daily occurrences to write in journals, funny things we or others said, and ideas and dreams for all aspects of our futures.  Not to mention decorations for our walls and notebooks.   Everything started to be covered in these little notes.  We found reason after reason to use them and had a lot of fun along the way!

My favorite use for them was an idea Sister Honomichl had.  She wrote funny, inspirational and caring things all over these little notes and left them in random places for me to find.  It always seemed to be at moments I needed a lift or on days when I felt down that I opened or moved something and out would come a bright little piece of paper, with just the right thing to make me smile.  I have found and am still finding these little bright spots in my day and they indeed have become bright spots in every way for me.

I would say that little pad of non-sticky notes was one of the best things I have bought over the past year, because they are something that I have actually used daily and found quite of bit of joy in.  So what that they are not sticky.  Did you know that they are larger than sticky notes so a lot more can be written on them.  You can also use both sides fully.  They are easy to fold into many shapes because they wont stick together and best of all they are a lot less expensive, so I tend to use them a lot more.  They also can go on surfaces and in books where you would not like to have something sticky because it could ruin it or leave behind a residue.  There are so many great things about them we overlooked because they were not the normal thing and someone else told us we were waisting our money.

So what does this have to do with you?  So your not the normal thing YOU decided you should be.  Someone said a careless word making you feel useless.  Or some comment or look or form of guilt makes you think that everyone is looking at you like you dont belong.  Or maybe you are just a little different.  Maybe your life is not what you thought it would be.  You wonder why Heavenly Father didn't make you sticky when everyone else around seems to be. 

Well wouldn't life be boring if we were all sticky notes?

Lets see what Paul has to say about it in 1 Corinthians 12-

14 For the body is not one member, but many.

 15 If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?

 16 And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?

 17 If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling?

 18 But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.

We need every part of our body to function.  All are neccessary.  The foot is no less important than the arm and the eye is no less important than the ear.  Your eye cant hear for you and ear cant see for you just like you cant do the things your neighbir can, but here is the most important part, THEY CANT DO WHAT YOU CAN DO.  If we were all the same and could only do the same things what would happen?

 19 And if they were all one member, where were the body?

 20 But now are they many members, yet but one body.

 21 And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.

Every single person is needed and each person decides if they will contribute or not.  It's your decision to be useful to the body.  But you say, I'm a small and useless part that is weak and does not function properly.  What then?

22 Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary:

23 And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.

 24 For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked:

 25 That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.

26 And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.

The more feeble parts are just as important and are bestowed more abundant honor!  God has put you where you are and as you are for a reason.  You are meant to use what you have to offer, not what your friend or neighbor has to offer.  So stop worrying about not being sticky and start seeing what you do have.  For Christ said in 3 Nephi 18, "I know my sheep and they are numbered."  No one is forgotten, no one is useless. 

Stop listening to those around you who are wondering what you are uselful for like that store clerk did and listen to God who knows the answers.   Then be like Sister Honomichl and lift someone else up with what only you have to offer.